Fighting Isn't Always Right

Emotions run deep in sports. When you are in the middle of a game and a call doesn’t go your way, you might want to lash out, argue, or yell at someone.  Trust me, I’ve been involved in many of these situations. Whether it is being mad at myself or at an official, I have had my fair share of heated moments. Both as a coach and a player. As a player, I’ve been ejected from a few games. Not my proudest moments, especially as a little leaguer.

But as I have, and continue, to mature I have learned to control my emotions that may lead to negative outcomes. So now, it’s funny to me to see kids and adults alike get so heated to the point where they try to start fights or altercations. It seems almost every time I look at a sports news outlet, I see teams getting into some sort of scrum. Whether its baseball players clearing the benches, soccer players trying to clothesline opposing players, or football players trying to punch someone through their facemask (which makes no sense by the way).

So this got me thinking. Is it competitiveness or hatred?

What does it mean to be competitive? According to Merriam-Webster, being competitive is being “inclined, desiring, or suited to compete” (Merriam-Webster, 2026). Inclined to compete. In some way or form we compete every day. Some of us may have a stronger desire than others, but I believe that we all have the desire to be better than something. Something even as simple as an old self.

Photo Courtesy: NBC Los Angeles

So, naturally, when we play a sport we are competing to show that we are the best that day for that specific sport. It’s only natural for emotions to stir. Even for fans of professional sports, we get riled up and a form of strong dislike forms for other teams. That’s how rivalries are born. #BeatLA. But how far can we push this dislike until it becomes too much? It is, after all, a game.

I’m going to break this down into three groups. Youth Sports, Interscholastic Sports, and Professional Sports. Let’s look at how an excessive amount of competitiveness and emotion can affect the game for each level.

Youth sports

 Ahh youth sports… I’m going to try to keep this short and simple. I’ve been involved in WAY too many instances of situations that could have got out of hand quickly if cooler heads didn’t prevail. I will say this one makes me laugh and cringe at the same time. It seems more often than not, the issues within youth sports come from not the players, but the parents.

Kids are competitive. There’s no doubt about that. As a coach, I’ve seen an endless number of kids leaving the field angry or in tears. Losing an important game, especially one that ends your season, is tough. I’ve been a part of those teams. I’ve been the kid who sheds tears. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve also been the kid who the coach must drag away from the umpire because I wanted to argue a called strike. It was a ball by the way.

But the more I dig into the story the more PARENTS become the issue. It’s the second game of a double header on a hot summer day. After losing 2-1 in the first game, the second game is just as intense. Then it happens. A close call at the plate. The umpire calls the runner out. Now, the crowd rises yelling and screaming at the umpire. There’s one parent who doesn’t stop. Continuously yelling vulgar language and slang at the umpire. Finally, the umpire has had enough. The game won’t continue until the parent has left the stands. It continues to escalate, to the point where the parent wants to get confrontational with the umpire.

But why? What is the need to ridicule a volunteer umpire to the point of being ejected? There’s really no need for it. You aren’t going to change the outcome of the game. You aren’t proving anything to anyone.  Let the kids play the game. I can assure you, the kids don’t like it when you do that either. I get supporting your kids to the max, but there is a line. Not only does it make you look bad, but it also ruins the game and takes the fun out of it for the kids. Not to mention, the assault on another person. There’s a reason nobody wants to umpire or ref games anymore.

School Sports

School sports are when situations start to shift away from parents to the players. Older kids begin to realize their athletic abilities and the level of competition continues to rise. Star players begin to stand out and tend to be the target of favoritism claims. Which in turn leads to more issues. But back to being competitive. Being in school for four years you begin to develop those heated rivalries. In high school, we had rivals and we always made it a fact to get a little more aggressive and scratchier for those games.

To say that we had our fair share of bickering and yelling at one another would be an understatement. We didn’t like them, and they didn’t like us. We didn’t WANT to beat them we HAD to beat them. So, the heightened intensity sparked much more than what was needed. Shoulder bumps at the catcher as you cross home plate. A little forearm shiver as you blocked the guy in front of you. Nothing intended to hurt someone, just enough to rile them up. But did we take it too far? Maybe. And that might be why things were always so heated. Yelling at each other because a ball was a little inside, to the point where the umpire had to intervene. Crazy right?

As I look back, I wonder. Was all this part of the game or some form of excessive emotions? Emotions that we let get the best of us. Does it really belong in the game? I think you could argue for both sides. The competitiveness of games makes the game fun, exciting, and overall, more enjoyable. Especially as a player. Let’s not lie to ourselves, winning 42-0 is fun and all, but it can get pretty old, pretty quick. Having those high-level emotions is necessary in games. It’s part of the game. If you don’t have emotion, do you really want to be there?  But, as a player and/or coach, you need to learn to control those emotions. Because a fight on the field can take away from the game. A game tying field goal gets washed away if you turn around and start a fight because of it. Nobody wants to see that. Unless you’re playing hockey. Because apparently everyone goes to hockey games to see fights.

Professional Sports

Professional sports are a little different. Or are they? Too often I see that some sort of fight or altercation happens during, before, or after a professional game. Again, I get it, emotion is a part of the game. But c’mon guys. You are supposed to be role models for the next generation. Kids look up to you, and you set the standard of how to act and respect the game.

But then again, I see a little more wiggle room for the pros. A little, not a lot. For the professional athlete this is more than a game. It’s a livelihood. This is how people pay their bills. So, yes, I understand that getting hit with a 95+ mph pitch in the head or hand can be very frustrating. Getting taken out at the knees and having to have surgery because of it doesn’t sit right with me either. So understandably, those higher-level emotions are somewhat warranted.

Photo courtesy of: Express/Charlie Malam

Then there are the other “fights” that are just, simply put, petty. Look at what just happened with Argentina and Spain. A great game, 1-0 victory for Spain to clinch the FIFA World Cup title. What should be a great memory for Spain might be tarnished by what transpired after the game. Video shows that Molina, an Argentina player, threw a punch at Spain’s Rodri as he ran to celebrate with his team. Then a brawl erupted casing players from both sides to come together even involving punches being thrown by multiple Argentina players and even an Argentinian coach.

They aren’t the only ones. There have been plenty of sore-loser scuffles. The Seahawks after losing the Superbowl to the Patriots, Jim Schwartz saying Harbaugh shook his hand too hard, Danica Patrick finding anyone else to blame for her subpar driving. The list can go on and on. It’s childish and annoying to see the athletes we look up to act like preschoolers throwing a tantrum. You lost, get over it, go punch a punching bag. There’s no need to try and go after other players because they beat you.

I guess the moral of this is to say that being petty and finding the little things in sports to fight and argue about is kind of dumb. It is okay to lose. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Losing is never fun. But what do we get out of trying to start a fight if we lose. Respect the game, respect your opponent and most of all have some respect for yourself.